I saw Mummy kissing Santa Claus

I was helping raise some funds for the Salvation Army by doing Christmas Gift wrapping at the Yeppoon shopping centre, and to keep me company, there was an older guy with me, playing Christmas songs on his cornet. I was surprised by the youth of Yeppoon. Two young lads came out of the adjacent Surf Shop and one said 'listen to the old guy on the trumpet!' The other boy said 'it's not a trumpet. That's a cornet!' See, not many people can tell the difference, so I was duly impressed.

Anyway, my cornet playing friend would've played "I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus" at least three times, and in the quiet times between gift wrapping, I worked on this.

Might see if I can get it done as a T-Shirt for next year, maybe...

just the FAQs

frequently asked questions...
  

How may I help you? 

How long is a piece of string? 

Who do you think you are? 

Why is it so? 

What time is it?

What about me? 

Do you want fries with that? 

What are you lookin’ at?

Huh?

Is there a God? 

And what does he want of me?

Who's on first? 

Do you even know what day it is?

Excuse me sir, do you know how fast you were going just now?

Does it come in red?

Do you really want to hurt me? 

Would I lie to you? 

Who are you?

How do you do?

How dare you? 

Is that all? 

DO YOU LOVE ME? 

******
  

variety...

I've just glanced over the things I’ve done for Illustration Friday this last month or so. I hadn’t realised that there was such a variety of styles and techniques! Going backwards from here we have

• ·         paper sculpture combined with carved MDF to create a kinetic artwork
• ·         drawings done in Flash using only the shapes tools
• ·         a cartoon done with a fineline pen and markers
• ·         a cartoon cat scanned, vectorised and coloured in Flash
• ·         a watercolour
• ·         two photos and some drawn elements combined in photoshop
• ·         a gouache painted paper sculpture mounted on a flash back ground
• ·         another cartoon scanned and coloured in Flash
• ·         my old blog header, done in photoshop, probably, with photo of my head which I traced and cartoonified, probably in Flash using my old Wacom tablet
• ·         scan of my sketch pad with other graphic elements added
• ·         fineline drawing
• ·         google sketchup 3d graphics
• ·         and a drawing done with a biro

I have a bunch of other vector drawing programs, but I still like the style that Flash mx gives me. But then, I guess I’m a little weird…

Round and round

Round and round.

After I made my last post, I remembered this guy, an unfinished automaton that I started a few years back, but who now resides in another part of the continent. His hair goes round and round.
He is carved out of medium density fibreboard (MDF) using a computer controlled routing machine and painted with acrylics. Note the articulated eyebrows and ping pong ball eyes.

The suave, and civilised little devil and the ratbaggy little angel are made of components printed on photo paper, cut out and assembled. The devil's arms and pitchfork move to animate the jabbing action.

The story line goes as followed. The angel is  grabbing our hero by the ear and trying to show him all the hurts in the world, the injustice that needs to be dealt with; the last, the lost, the least of the human race that need some mercy and compassion.

Eventually he starts to listen and feel moved to do something but then, JAB! the little devil gives him a quick poke with his pitchfork. Suddenly his focus is back on himself, rather than the plight of others. 'Its all too hard! What will the neighbours think...'

And around it goes...

I could imagine him singing the Delirious song Gravity

This generation is full of religion
Fed up with a diet of nothing
Give me the real thing flowing through my veins
This is the day, this is the hour
Show me the truth cos I want to be blinded
I wanna run, which way should I go

Gravity's pulling me, but heaven is calling me and
My head's spinning the world's twisted
My head's twisted the world's spinning
My head's spinning the world's twisted
My head's twisted the world's spinning round, around

What do they say? Evil happens when good people do nothing...

So, if you feel a little angel prompting you to do right, do it! But be prepared for distractions from that 'civilising' little devil...

round

Round. Circles. Songs that overlap and never end. Balloons. Fat ladies. Billowy clouds. Round, the very sound in my mouth is round. RRrrrrrroooouuund.... So I though, how much of an illustration could I do using as much as I could circles and ellipses. No pre-drawing, or scanning sketches. Just throw a bunch of curves together and see what happens. Hmm. See what happens? A Weird looking Zeppelin (a non-round sounding word, its full of spikes, not really suiting its lighter than air elegant but dangerous grace), and a rather rotund angel, suspended below. A fun exercise, but I dunno....

you have the right to remain SILENT

I've been on a jury all week and the judge tells us what an important right this is, the right to remain silent. It has been an interesting week so far, but has left little time to work on illo's or get them on-line. So, here's a quick one i did a couple of days ago, but haven't uploaded til now. Hope it'll do!

Stripes 2

Here's another cat in stripes. This one however, is probably a little too nerdy to dream of being a tiger...

Tiger Dreaming – Stripes

Do you ever dream that you were something you’re not? Perhaps richer, better looking, taller, thinner, fitter? Or more patient or more assertive or less prone to anger? Perhaps you are a small cat dreaming of tiger stripes? Obviously, there are things you can change and things you cannot and you need to know the difference. As it says in the Good Book "Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch?” Matt 6:27. But as for being a bit fitter, or thinner, I can work on that.

Who are your heroes? Who are the people you admire? Martin Luther King? George Scott Railton? Frederick Booth Tucker? (and not just for their double-barrelled names!) Desmond Tutu or Bono? Or Indiana Jones or Han Solo? Mother Theresa, Joan of Arc or Amy Johnson? Or do you like the way Bugs Bunny can come through any situation unruffled? Or is there a family member, a mentor or a close friend? What is it you admire in these people? I’ve been told that what you admire in another person is actually inherent in you. So look at your heroes and discover that thing in them that you admire, and find that is also in you. The little cat may never become a tiger, but she has big cat instincts within her makeup. So be encouraged to develop those admirable character traits, and you could become my hero too!

An analogue illo this week, I pulled out my old gouaches (found that they’d actually dried up…) and attempted a bit of water colour. There’s no undo button in real life, and more cleaning up to do, but I find it satisfying in a different way to the digital stuff I’ve been doing lately. 

What really IS Scary...

I submitted an illustration for Illustration Friday a few days ago for the topic of scary. It was a fun image of an elephant, a haunted house, and hang gliding mice. Scary indeed... 

But today I was confronted by something scarier. The town I live in has a reputation for its high rates in youth suicide. In fact the suicide levels for 10-14 year olds is among the highest in this country. I was just this morning talking to a young lady I know at the local High School's Breakfast Club, where I help at twice a week. She was telling me about her big sister, who is in hospital recovering from a suicide attempt. Why this loss of hope? 

As I come in contact with young people in this town, I hear stories of family break down and kids living in complicated situations. Its really not easy for a lot of them an it manifests in all sorts of ways. Suicide is one way; disaffected youth, and homelessness are others things that happen here.

This is a T-shirt design I am working on to raise awareness of Youth Homeless issues. Yes, there is a Banksy influence in it, but I thought that was relevant. Why is it that disaffected and homeless kids are always shown in hoodies? 

And another scary thought is that these young people are the future of this country. A lot of them really great kids with a lot of potential, but how many will be able to realise this potential. Despite the huge coal and iron ore mining industries here, people are our greatest and best resource, but so much possible goodness is being lost.

But there is hope. And I try to be part of that, shining my light in the dark.

Scary...

Haunted houses are supposed to be scary, aren't they? 

Not so, thought Eddie, I can stay in that one all night. I'm not scared of any ectoplasmic visitations!

 And as it was, that wasn't the problem, nor the thunderstorm, or the creaky doors and cob webs. Not even the cat that walked across the keyboard of the ancient pipe organ. 

No, it was the bats, plain and simple. 

No, wait, not bats, bats aren't scary.

 It was the mice. 

Mice, with hang gliders!

Or, if you prefer German: Fledermäuse, Nicht!! Fliegenmäuse mit Fallsegelflugzeugen! 


This is an elephant I sculpted out of paper, and painted a long time ago. But only today have I completed the haunted house and hang-gliding mice to put his terror in context. Elephants are apparently known for their fear of mice. What are you scared of?

Fuel - Bicycle Gasoline

Bananas are yummy, and full of potassiummy goodness, as my friend Murray would say. But he's a gorilla, and slightly biased. I like bananas, and I live in the state of the Banana Benders, ie, Queensland, but last summer's floods and cyclones wiped out much of the banana crop and as a result, they have been horribly expensive all year, up to $12 a kg... A friend of mine has recently visited London, where she got to eat bananas at a good cheap price, kind of ironic as they don't even grow them there. I remember visiting eastern Germany during the last banana shortage in 2006, and eating lots of even more ironic bananas there. Because, back in the day, bananas where virtually unobtainable there, a symbol of the decadent west. I daresay they are cheaper there now than they are here...

Anyway, bananas are terrific fuel for cycling, it is said a single banana can give you enough energy for another 10km! According to the how stuff works website '...you will find that a person riding a bicycle at 15 miles per hour (24 km per hour) burns 0.049 calories per pound per minute. So a 175-pound (77-kg) person burns 515 calories in an hour, or about 34 calories per mile (about 21 calories per km).

A gallon of gasoline (about 4 liters) contains about 31,000 calories. If a person could drink gasoline, then a person could ride about 912 miles on a gallon of gas (about 360 km per liter). Considering that a normal car gets about 30 miles per gallon, that's pretty impressive!

Actually the average banana contains around 172 calories, so, do the maths, how far could you go? At 21Cal per km, that's... well, only 8.19km, but bananas convert energy much more efficiently than do mars bars for example.

As I was doing this weird little illo for illustration friday, I had the Delirious song going through my mind, the one that goes:

 'She don't need no bicycle gasoline,
She just needs her violets.
She don't need no bicycle gasoline,
She just needs her violets.'

Brilliant song, very clever, slightly weird, but I like it.

time for a new look

Time to say goodbye to the classic Honzablog header and freshen the place up a bit. What do you think?